An Unfortunate Reality
by Zergface
Summary: The epidemic has spread, and the end times have begun. The truth must be revealed, but it's not the truth the world wants. To make sure the balance of Neptunia remains as it is, OC #02849 takes matters into his own hands.


**If you have ever read your story once, this work of satire does not apply to you**

* * *

I was running.

My knee joints burned as I pushed further and further down the halls of this strange, futuristic facility. My sweat dripped off my chin and soaked my shirt as I forced myself to move onwards, my breath running ragged with each step.

In my right hand was a top secret document, and dark sweat stains seeped into the paper as I thrust my arms up and down my sides.

"You will not be forgiven!"

A manly voice cried out with anger.

He called himself CPU Death Heart, but his real name was Mark or something. I'm still not sure why he told me at all, but I'm too busy running to think straight.

Until I turned a bad corner, reaching a dead end.

No way out, so I scrambled around to face my assailant, fear oozing off my face as my hopes plunged for the ocean floor.

He turned the corner after me, and that's when I got a good look at him.

He was around four feet tall with rough black hair, and wore a black hoodie along with black jeans. He had a pair of headphones around his neck, and from behind him protruded a pair of… wings?

He glared at me with his mismatched eyes, one red and the other a soothing turquoise. He had a long scar running across his face and in his arms was a nasty looking katana.

"You have committed crimes against Planeptune's and her people. What say you in your defense?"

He thrust his sword out at me, his super deep voice throwing me off.

"Uhh…" I started, but then four girls turned the corner.

"Wow, that's the guy! Great job, Death Heart!" One called out.

The rest started to fondle his abs, making me feel really uncomfortable.

"You'll find yourself in a world of hurt if you don't speak up, asshole!" He shouted, his screaming starting to hurt my ears.

I couldn't find words, my body locked in fear of his small body and nasty sword.

"My trusty companion, edgefire, will be your doom! I don't want to do it, but I'll do it anyways because there's no other options!"

Then he started muttering something about how this was getting tense.

But before I could bring myself to say something, he swung his sword.

"You force my hand! I- I don't want to do this, but I'll do anything to defend my friends who are just my friends!"

What happened next dazzled me. He shouted something along the lines of "dimension kill slice of power doom blood" everything behind me blew up, throwing me into the air above Planeptune. After ten seconds of panoramic flying shots, I fell to the ground and grunted for some reason.

He landed a few feet in front of me, all four of the girls beside him, clenching their fists.

"It's time to end this once and for all! With all my power I will sacrifice myself to save Gamindustri and my friends who are just my friends and nothing more!"

He continued, gritting his teeth. "There's only a 1 in 10000000000000 chance this will work, but I have to try!"

My head stung, so my vision was really hazy, but I could tell that he was doing a dance of some sort. Then he exploded and died, and a lot of blood splattered across the ground and all over my clothes. It was terribly disgusting, and I screamed.

After a few seconds, I lifted a bloodied wing off of my chest and got up, document in my right hand.

"You, you killed the only male CPU to exist in a bazillion years!" One of the girls yelled, pointing a finger at me.

Luckily for the author, they were not nearly as relevant as the main character CPU OC and thus got no individualism and humanization, leaving the reader to wonder what the hell is going on and who is speaking.

I stepped back, afraid.

But then, a bunch of body parts started forming together to make a person, and guess who it was. It was Death Heart, but this time he had glowing yellow hair that spiked up like a familiar character I had seen before.

"My time isn't over yet! Tú just made me angrier!" He shouted, revealing a bit of his native language as he spoke because the author didn't reread the chapter.

"Dude just calm down! What the hell is wrong with you!" I cried out.

He choked on something, recoiling away from me as the four girls rushed to his aid, catching him mid-fall.

"My past…" he muttered, and somehow I could hear it. "Don't talk about… my past…"

And he blacked out, probably falling into a sort of irrelevant flashback sequence that is supposed to help convey some sort of character development or backstory that makes the reader groan and flip to the end.

"He died and fainted to protect that document…" one of the girls said in despair.

I looked down at my hands, where I held the stupid thing. It was a scroll.

I said screw it internally and unraveled it, only to cringe terribly, almost killing me.

 _The backstory written in italics, part one of seventeen._

 _Once I seen a hat blue and say i wanted him. I walks to a hat and pick._

 _Give powers of CPU I make first male CPU of gamindustryy. Shout horryat chip eat pizza. I have no puzza so I communicate transmit teléfono con pizza man._

 _It was neptune_

 _I say hell_

 _She sayid hello_

 _I ask if she is ready for fu nny_

 _I laughs and kiss and make the loves sex so now I married her but after heart opened just;_

I closed the scroll, scrunching it together and tossing it onto the ground. Only now if I notice my panicked breathing. It was infecting my lungs and seeming into my brain.

I looked around me, and from behind every corner or shadow came a new OC. They were all either 4 feet tall or 7 feet tall, but they all were white and had spiky hair, and each one of them wore a black hoodie and headphones around the neck.

The were chanting, and started coming closer.

My heart raced up the bazingo until something whispered in my ear. It said something irrelevant and corny, giving the the power I needed to fight back.

And the world glowed around me in a sea of white, and suddenly my eyes stung.

I heard a beeping off to my left, and I brought up my hands to rub gunk out of my eyes.

I then slammed my alarm clock.

It was a dream. Just a bad, bad dream.

I breathed numerous sighs of relief, calming myself down.

I then pulled out my phone and started to browse the HDN archive.

And there he was.

CPU Death Heart was real. He was everyone.

I cried.

* * *

 **I can't say that I am a fan of writing on anymore.**

 **I can't tell people that I write fanfiction, because if I do then they automatically think of people who write like our pal Mark Death Heart.**

 **Don't get me wrong- I think it's great for people to get their ideas out and embark upon writing adventures of their own.**

 **It just feels bad when I see how butchered my language can become. If you noticed, the imitation I tried is a sad one and pales in comparison to the real thing.**

 **For those who want to see the real thing, just look for a title with lowercase letters, or the word "Gamindustry" in the summary.**

 **Please reread your stories once in your life before publishing, please.**

 **That is all**.


End file.
